Star Warts and The Best of Both Worlds
by IceBubble
Summary: A cross between Star Wars and Hannah Montana. Very funny, If you like Hannah Montana you are advised not to read. CoWrite with the shizzz.


CHAPTER 1: A Not So Peaceful Trip

Luke, Leia, Han, Chewi, and the robots are on a nice peaceful cruise across the galaxy.

Leia: You stupid brother! You almost cut off Han's left pinkie!

Luke: No I didn't and he doesn't even need his left pinkie anyway!

Han: Yes I do, It is quite useful for picking earwax!

Leia: Han, you're not helping.

Han: Sorry.

Leia: That's okay.

Han: Thanks. Where were we? Oh yeah. LUKE BE CAREFUL WITH THAT LIGHTSABER!

Luke: Well you were in my way! It's not my fault if you stuck your right-

Leia: Left!

Luke: Fine, left pinkie in my way!

Han: Well…

I think you get the point. In other business, The Millenium Falcon's engines were shredded in a heated lightsaber quarrel between Leia and Luke, so it had gone In for repairs. So there were many new buttons. Which interested Chewi a whole bunch.

Chewi: (to himself): Wow, pretty buttons… I wonder what this one does…

He reached out to touch a hot pink button which happened to be the light speed button. It had a sticker that said, "Brand new look, same great speed!" Now, the auto pilot was set on cruise, which would normally send them meandering around to random places. But at light speed, well… It's best if you don't try this at home.

Han: No, Chewi! Don't touch that! It's the-

The ship zoomed off into space.

Han: Light speed button.

Luke threw his lightsaber into the air and it, misfortunately, landed on the steering wheel and a few buttons. The few buttons happened to include the autopilot switch, meaning that Han now could not control where they were going.

Luke: Whoops.

Leia: Whoops is right, there it no telling where we are going to go now! You should BE MORE CAREFUL!

The two resumed screaming at each other in not-so-pleasant voices. Han sighed and sat down next to Chewi.

Han: Well there is nothing we can do but hope we land somewhere moderately safe where we can get ship repairs.

They rocketed through nothingness for about fifteen minutes, by which time a considerable amout of Luke's hair had been pulled out and Leia's long white dress was a bid ragged around the edges. They seemed to have resolved to settle their disagreement later. Yeah right.

Han: Before you two start fighting again, here comes a planet- I will put it on auto land.

Leia goes off to put on a new dress. Luke goes off to put on some hair-growing lotion. Leia does her hair and comes out looking quite nice. Luke comes out with waist length hair and a beard.

Han and Leia: You need a haircut.

C3PO: I do declare, some humans really are masters of the obvious.

R2D2: Beep bip beep bop-

C3PO: Oh R2, you really shouldn't say such things about master Luke.

Luke goes off looking angry. He returns in a few minutes.

Han: Princess perfect. Not let's get off this ship and see where we've landed.

They stepped out of the ship—and right into a Hannah Montana concert.

Leia: Brilliant.

Chapter 1 ½ : Hannah Montana Mon

Hannah:"The Beeeeeeest of Both-UFO!"

Crowd: Silent. Well, they didn't actually say silent. But they were.

Random 7 Year old: Mommy, that's not the words! Hannah had a boo-boo! (Recalls old movie her dad watched.) I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

Mom: Honey, it was my money.

Random 7 year old: But stiiiill!

Mom: Okay. I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

Hannah's Manager: What the heck do y- THERE'S A UFO!

We interrupt the concert to give an important announcement: Hannah and her manager have both gone cuckoo. Thank you for your patience.

Hannah: Then I'm not the only crazy one here.

Manager: Are you calling me CRAZY!

Jackson: Everybody shut up. The Jacksonater has an importanat announcement. THERE'S A UFO!

Manager: Didn't I already cover that?

Jackson: Sure you did, but it's mine now!

Manager: Oh yeah? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Jackson: Let's take this outside.

Manager: We are outside, you dimwit.

Jackson: You're the one the Important Announcement Guy called crazy!

Manager: I am going to get you for tha-

Roxy, with a very pleasant expression on her face, came on to the stage. She happened to be carrying a laser gun.

Roxy: You have the right to remain silent! That means shut up!

Jackson: Have you been checking out my Chamillionare music videos?

Roxy: I said SHUT UP, you lazy red-underwear-wearing bum!

Hannah: You go Roxy!

Jackson: What does my underwear have to do with any of this? Sometimes I feel like an alien stuck on a planet of--

Just then there was a **_CRASH. _**

Chewbacca, carrying a laser cannon bigger than Hannah's head, which was already rather big, considering the number of records she'd sold. Soon all the others, either carrying Lightsabers or, in C3PO's case, a big chunk of metal from the broken ship. Looking around, Luke was dissapointed.

Luke: What kind of planet of idiots did you land us on, Chewi?

Jackson: See? He agrees with me!

Hannah: Jackson! Shut up! This is the part when we're supposed to hear the crickets!

Jackson: Oh yeah. Crickets! This is your cue.

Crickets: Cricket.

Director: Louder!

Crickets: CCCRRRIIICCCKKKEEETTT!

Han: This really is a planet of idiots.


End file.
